As promised, I'm back in great sarcastic form and ready to take on whatever perils are hurled at me. In fact, I already have embarked on a new year resolution - to conquer the infamous Piddle Puddle.
Some of you may be ignorant of this villainous affliction - but those of you with boys (young and old alike) have a good idea of what I'm about to describe.
Picture this: A young and well-intentioned boy takes the initiative to go potty by himself. However, this adorable little child loses his "stream of thought" half way through, turns to see what the dog is barking at, and.... well.... you get the point. Needless to say, the grout that runs between my tiled bathroom floor channels all the piddle into a puddle which eventually runs under my toilet where it becomes next to impossible to clean.
Another scenario where the Piddle Puddle comes into play is as follows: The little boy realizes he needs to go "number 2" and assumes the sitting position. Unfortunately, this time his "stream of thought" shoots straight ahead like an arrow, under (or over) the toilet-seat, and out onto the floor where once again, the puddle forms and slowly creeps back into the inaccessible regions of household plumbing.
The killer on this one is that I'm not always focusing my x-ray vision into the bathroom and am unable to divert and eradicate the puddle before it's too late. Instead, I have to incessantly remind my child to STAY FOCUSED and not pollute our home. More often then not, I am in the commando crawl position on the floor, trying to shoot bleach cleaner like a laser guided missile into the grout and under the toilet so that I can scrub, Q-Tip, ect... all of the Puddle's noxious waste into oblivion.
Solution?
It's time to spin around, put on my cape, and call upon my utmost superpowers so that I can crush this enemy faster than a speeding piddle stream. I've had enough of stepping out of the shower to discover a mysterious yellow glow to my floor that wasn't there before. No more, "Mom! I didn't know!!!" My first order of business will be a glass of wine, a new bottle of Lysol Bathroom Cleaner, and a really mean mommy face every time my son ventures to the potty...
...did I mention a glass of wine?
Until next time, keep up the good fight and wear your capes with pride - and don't step in the Puddle.